When Ego Tried to Play God: The Nightmare We’re All Waking Up From
Part 1: Something is cracking humanity open — and it’s showing us profound spiritual truth
It’s exposing how deeply we’ve inverted the sacred order of creation and have consequently birthed narcissism.
Let’s be oh-so-for-real!!! I am not the only one who’s been asking the question: HOW THE FUCK DID WE GET SO MANY NARCISSISTS?!
Are there secret narc baby making factories?
Welp, sort of.
This blog is intended to pull this societal disease all the way up by the roots — to explore what are the emotional and spiritual origins of this narcissism and cut its mother fucken head off!
Because what we’re experiencing, what we’ve been living under for thousands of years, are patriarchal structures — systems centered around men leading, systems centered around masculine energy defining the order of life. And these structures are not serving us. In fact, they look and feel a lot like the narcs we have in our lives.
And what’s happening now is profound.
Women are waking up to this feeling of danger all around and asking ourselves, “How TF did we get here? And how do we create safety?”
And that questioning is causing us to remember who we are individually and collectively and to say,
“Wait a second. Men are not greater than us. They were never meant to lead women, let alone societies. And the reason our societies are filled with danger and so thoroughly fucked, is because men and male energy have been in charge.”
Women are seeing through the biggest lie humanity ever agreed to: God is not male, and authority is not derived from male energy.
We are realizing that the power and authority we’ve been taught to submit to outside ourselves — specifically in men, male energy, and male savior gods — were never designed to be above us. In fact, what we’re witnessing right now, in real time, is the greatest evidence of the divine order:
Women are waking up first.
Women are remembering the truth first.
Women are doing the deep work to heal first and now showing men how to do this.
Because it’s always been through the woman that life comes.
It’s always been through the feminine energy that humanity understands what spiritual life is.
As I see it, it is our Divine design and responsibility as women, to lead the awakening and re-mind men who they are. And as we reclaim this, the entire system of narcissism — this way of being that’s out of touch with feeling, with reality and how life functions — starts to collapse.
So that’s where I desire to start:
The true union of the feminine and masculine. How these energies function and interact, and how the female and male bodies represent the truths of these energetic interactions inside of us.
Understanding these truths will naturally expose the massive inversion that bred narcissism right into our psyches, families, and societal structures.
Part 2: Where this understanding comes from — and why it’s so important
Before we start getting into the structure of how feminine and masculine energy actually work, I desire to ground this into where all of this is coming from.
This is more than mental philosophy for me. It’s the fruit of years of devoted work studying, listening, and responding to body language — the living language of the soul expressed through the body.
This psychosomatic therapy is based in ancient tantric sciences that date back more than 5000 years, long before patriarchal religions ever dared to rewrite the story.
These ancient lineages studied how energy moves through the body and shapes it. They mapped how the different parts of the body hold messages — how your muscles, joints, curves, lines, even the way you stand, are telling you exactly how your soul is relating to life.
So what we’re exploring here is not just gender roles or social constructs. We’re diving into the ancient spiritual architecture of creation itself — how feminine and masculine energy flow through your body to create your entire reality.
And it matters more than ever right now.
Look around at the confusion playing out in some of the loudest places:
👉 In the trans movement, where the very reality of being in a male or female body is dismissed. AS IF anyone can change the superior functionality of the X chromosome. AS IF an XY human magically gained all the capabalities of an XX human. Where people are sold the illusion they can remake themselves however their Ego desires.
👉 And in the New Age spiritual circles, where the concept of gender itself is being dissolved under the banner of “God is genderless,” stripping away the entire order we see reflected in creation.
It’s all the same programming, just wearing different costumes, and both pull us away from the ancient truths living inside our own bodies.
Part 3: The divine blueprint inside the body
So let’s start breaking this down.
Because once you start to see how energy shapes the body, everything makes sense — from the roots of narcissism, to why the current attacks on gender are so dangerous, to why society is so thoroughly dis-eased right now. And once you see it, you will never be able to unsee it.
First, every human body holds both feminine and masculine energy. How they interact inside of us is a reflection of how we function together in real life.
In Tantra and Body Language the feminine energy represents Soul or Spirit, that feels who it is, senses its own purpose, and creates accordingly.
👉 “This feels right, this doesn’t feel right. This is aligned, this is not. This is what I choose to create.”
The masculine energy is represented by the Ego, the energy that responds to the Soul. It takes that felt sense, connection to purpose, and asks soul:
👉 “Alright, how do I make sure we move toward what feels right? How do I create action in the physical world to serve this deeper purpose?”
The very purpose of the Ego is to be the representative of the Soul, because without the Soul choosing to embody a human vessel, there would be no Ego.
Some will insert here: “Well being logical is better than being emotional,” in an attempt to dismiss the wisdom of the feminine energy.
Not realizing the very process of making a logical decision is by analyzing your emotional and physical responses over a period of time. It’s literally analyzing experiential in-formation which is feminine in nature.
The brain development confirms this with the prefrontal cortex being the last to form. This is the place where we’re able to reason through things, make logical decisions, anticipate outcomes, plan for the future.
This part of the brain is last to form because it is in-formed by the parts of the brain that store emotional and sensory experiences that shape behavior, personality and character.
Even in the brain we see that it is the feminine sensory information that is in-forming the mind to be able to make logical decisions.Your own body demonstrates the leadership of the feminine, with the masculine emerging from the in-formation she feeds him.
She’s the one who receives, feels, holds the vision, gathers resources for what’s needed.
The masculine comes in to analyze and execute — to serve her mission.
It’s the same in nature. The feminine represents the seed of life.
Yes — even though we’ve been taught to call a man’s sperm “seed,” that’s not true. He doesn’t carry seed — he carries fertilizer.
The actual seeds of life are inside the woman, and her womb is the soil that grows them, and brings life through.
Part 4: The body as sacred geometry — how energy shapes form
Let’s go a layer deeper to see if the energetic truth of feminine energy leading the masculine holds true in the physical form and function of their bodies. This is why body language is so fucken profound because your body is sacred geometry made flesh.
Think about shapes in architecture:
Squares and straight lines are for building sturdy foundations, carrying weight, reaching upward.
Curves and circles are made for holding, expanding, taking in multiple perspectives, flowing.
Now look at the human body.
The female body is full of curves — breasts, hips, belly, thighs. She’s literally designed to take in, expand, hold, nourish, and create life inside of her because her body is a landscape for growing life.
The areas of her body where she takes in energy, she’s also outputting energy, which is whey she requires to be given to.
Her chest/breasts are able to create milk to nourish a baby, and provide pleasure to a man.
Her hips and belly are intended to expand to grow life inside of her and birth it through her portal.
Thighs and butt represent the root chakra, and are also the biggest muscles. Muscles represent emotional memory. Her thighs are intended to be heavier because her structure or function in life is to feel. To acquire the emotional memory necessary to care for life.
The extra weight she naturally carries is because she holds the responsibility of nurturing and guiding life.
The male body is shaped by straighter lines — broad shoulders, flatter chests, narrower hips, more muscle, bigger bones.
Those horizontal shoulders represent his ability to shoulder heavier burdens. Being that it’s where his heart chakra begins to reach outward, this is about more than just him, but for the world.
Meaning: the fruit of his labor doesn’t come from ego accomplishment, look at me, look at how great I am. It comes from who and what his heart is moved to care and provide for. What is the higher purpose beyond his own egoic fulfillment that he’s living for?
His squared hips show creation does not grow inside of him, but he uses his energy and the creation around him to build.
His more muscled and bone dense body is intended to bear the heavy load of lifting, building, creating structures the feminine needs to care for life. Literally his entire physical structure is about offering energy back to creation, serving the mission of what the feminine is creating.
Even in the positive and negative poles of the body, they show divine design:
Female chest (heart) is the positive charge that enters the man’s negative charge chest.
And the man’s positively charged cock (sacral, creative energy), plugs into the woman’s negatively charged yoni.
She is designed to give love, he is designed to give his creative life force back!
BOOMSHAKALAKA!
Part 5: How female and male brains naturally function
Now let’s look at how our brains are wired differently for specific functions.
In Women:
Prefrontal cortex develops faster in women making them less prone to anger
Frontal cortex in women is fatter and more complex, making them hard-wired for decision making and problem solving
Anterior cingulate cortex and insular cortex are bigger in women making them better and discerning gut feelings, and making gut feelings a biological reality
Hippocampus larger in women making them better at recalling memories and details
Mirror neuron system larger and more active in women, making them better at reading and feeling others
Women have more white matter, making them more efficient at multi-tasking
Women use both sides of brain making them better listeners
While men’s brains are bigger, women have just as many neurons
Limbic cortex larger making them better at expressing emotions
The male brain, by contrast, is built for focused execution.
Males use primarily one side of their amygdala, and women use both. Which makes him naturally compartmentalized, simpler in processing, designed to take a clear mission and act on it. It also makes men more prone to “short fuses” and being action oriented, rather than paying attention to details
Temporal parietal junction more active making them good at analytical solutions to emotional problems, although this leaves empathy out
PAG more active during sex for men, meaning they derive more pleasure and suppress pain
Motivational center of the brain (VTA) is more active in men making them more prone to addiction
Have larger Dorsal Premammillary Nucleus which makes them more aware of potential turf threats
Because he is not as sensitively wired, that’s why it’s up to the woman to determine who nourishes the seeds and soil of her womb — because her brain, body, and entire being are wired for this nuanced discernment. What she chooses to fertilize her, becomes the building blocks of life inside her that she’ll forever be connected to.
It is not the nature of a man to protect out of some innate intuitive drive. His brain simply isn’t wired for that level of sensitivity… which is WHY we have so many violent men in power, and societal structures that take more from us than they give back.
Protection arises when the woman feels what needs safeguarding and signals him to step in.
This is where men need to humble themselves and ask women:
“How do we be different?
How do you need to be treated?
What am I able to build for humanity that creates a safe place for all of us to thrive?”
Whatever she says is precious, this is where we need your strength.
It’s not emasculating to accept your nature.
It’s actually empowering to admit your limitations and seek out the felt awareness of the women who are made to be more emotionally and spiritually aware.
I mean even on a business level men get this. They hire the marketing professional because that’s not their expertise, and if they were to do it all on their own they would not go as fast or as far as they’d like.
If women are wired for this in the brain, then taking orders or direction from the feminine is being in alignment with your nature and in co-creation with life. You are here to be the movement of Goddess that builds, guards, executes in response to her mission of Love and Life.
When this gets inverted and the Ego tries to run the show without listening to the Soul — or when men attempt to build and explore without checking in with the other half of humanity that’s emotional and spiritually superior - that’s how dis-ease in the body, and narcissism in the collective emerge.
Because what we are withholding from ourselves — the awareness of what actually creates life — we instead create a structure that becomes brittle, self-absorbed, and ultimately destructive.
Part 6: The emotional and spiritual roots of narcissism
Now let’s dive even deeper — into what’s actually going on inside a narcissistic mind and spirit. Because what we’re really witnessing in narcissism is the ultimate trauma-fueled inversion of Divine order.
When we look at the brain of a person with narcissistic traits, science reveals the brain is quite literally underdeveloped — showing the same hallmarks as a severely neglected or traumatized child:
A shrunken amygdala, meaning less capacity to process or even register emotions.
A smaller hippocampus, so they struggle to truly learn from past emotional experiences.
A thinner cortical lining and underdeveloped prefrontal cortex, which means they don’t logically process consequences in the way a fully integrated brain does.
It’s like they’re frozen in a childlike state.
Unable to deeply feel.
Unable to truly empathize.
Unable to connect cause and effect between their actions and the pain they sow.
This is why you’ll see them act with shocking insensitivity — they’re not actually processing the weight of what they’re doing. Much like children who run around oblivious to the dangers of a fire or running in front of traffic, they operate from a similarly disconnected place.
Adults who express narcissistic traits had their insensitivity engineered in environments that lacked physical and emotional safety.
Rather than really feel and accept the insane reality they could not run from, their brain adapted to stay in an adolescent state, disconnect from their physical and emotional reality - feminine Source within - that’s telling them things are off.
And without that spiritual root connected to the physical reality, the Ego grows to become its own god, rewriting reality to soothe its fears, bending truth to keep its illusions intact.
This is narcissism at its core:
It denies the body — the physical vessel of spirit that feels.
It denies emotional reality, living for immediate validation and gratification, does not consider consequences.
It denies the divine order, insisting it gets to be the ultimate authority.
And ironically, it ends up not only harming others — but destroying itself.
The Ego cannot understand itself apart from the Soul because its very purpose is to be the Soul’s representative, like our physical bodies are the representative of our spiritual bodies.
Living in separation from the communication of one’s own Soul, from even believing that you are a spiritual being with your Whole-y Spirit living inside of you, is a naturally self-destructive path.
Maybe not immediatly physically, but if the Ego has not been trained to submit to the Soul, then you experience the death of the soul-full expression of life, which in turn creates dis-ease in your body, relationships, and experiences.
Part 7: From the personal to the collective — how trauma shapes the systems we live in
And this is exactly what we see at a societal level.
We have entire governments, industries, and cultural systems run by people stuck in these trauma loops — men with childlike emotional landscapes, running on fear and unprocessed wounding, who’ve built gigantic structures to uphold their illusions of control.
It’s like a collective brain disorder, a collective state of psychosis and psychotic behavior:
Desensitized masses, who were taught to override feelings from birth. Leaving them primed for further abuse.
Men raised to suppress emotional intelligence, disconnecting from the feminine sensitivity within them. Priming them to also suppress and control those weaker than them.
Women conditioned to betray their own souls and become enforcers of the very systems that harm them.
We’ve created a world that mirrors the psychology of a traumatized child that’s turned into a narcissist: short-sighted, compulsively consuming, oblivious to consequences, needing endless validation, terrified of real intimacy, unable to truly protect or nurture life.
Meanwhile, these systems are sustained by even darker, parasitic forces that feed off the collective pain. They thrive on our unresolved wounds, emotional leaks, and inability to feel and transmute.
Part 8: Why this matters right now
Because these parasitic forces have infested and infected the collective consciousness.
And because their mission is to sever our connection to Source, and they don’t care which route you take.
We have the Trans cult, New Age Spiritual cult, medical industrial complex, the American Psychology Association, governments, and the war machines — all loud expressions of the same Ego inversion. Each in their own way denies the sacred design, the purpose of gender, and ultimately the order of creation itself.
The trans cult ignores sacred geometry altogether, saying that form does not equal function. It claims that gender is a feeling, a personal whim, instead of a sacred design and responsibility rooted in Divine order.
It says:
“I’ll make myself in my own image. I’ll decide what gender is, not creation, not nature, not Source.”
This completely cuts us off from the intelligence of the body, the purpose of masculine and feminine energy, and the physical reality of our female and male bodies that hold spiritual truths.
If you deny gender, you deny nature. If you deny nature, you deny truth. And denial of truth is at the root of all narcissism.
The New Age cult, on the other hand, tries to neuter it all by claiming:
“God is genderless. Masculine and feminine don’t really matter. It’s all just different expressions of the One.”
While there’s a tiny thread of truth (yes, both energies are held within Source), it completely nullifies the nuance of how gender represents spiritual roles and responsibilities in creation.
AND a cheap bypass that dismisses the real order of how life emerges — always through the feminine first.
Both of these movements deny the human experience.
Deny the intelligent design of a Creator that fashioned us as gendered beings for a purpose.
They refuse to submit their Egoic ideas to the order of Divine design.
They dismiss the body, the structure, the felt senses — all of which are the feminine, the soul, the Source of life.
They’re desperate to elevate mind over matter, to escape physical reality, to build illusions that have no grounding in creation.
When you reject the body, feelings, the reality of life, you become psychotic — literally divorced from reality, living in mind constructs you’ve made up to keep your Ego thinking everything is “just fine”.
And people living in psychosis will always build psychotic structures to uphold and affirm their insanity.
Just like the narcs in your life who have made everyone around you think they’re such a swell person, and that would never do such things, this is what we see in the structures we’ve built from our collective psychosis.
We have the war machines — literal armies — designed to perpetuate endless bloodshed and keep humanity locked in trauma. With the good ole banking systems funding both sides!
The constant cycles of violence to “protect us and others”, come at the cost of the raping and pillaging of bodies and lands.
These are not accidental. They’re intentional systems to keep us so wounded, so shut down, so disconnected from our sensitivity, that we can’t even feel into what else is possible because we’re either too busy trying to stay alive, or looking out for the next attack.
A society that attacks women, children, and destroys the earth while doing it, is a society at war with God Herself.
It’s a society that has gone completely mad because it’s literally killing its sources of life (women who create children, and the earth that gives us food, shelter, and water), while also damaging the children who are our future!
In keeping us occupied with war after war, they attempt to keep us from recognizing the spiritual truth that war only creates more war, and that the only way to truly end it is to stop participating and build something new.
Then we have our medical establishment (the medical death complex), that slices the human into separate compartments, ignoring emotions and spirit — as if grief is an experience outside of us that has no effects on weight, depression, personal hygiene — as if rage hasn’t backed up a few livers with stones — as if being fat isn’t tied to feeling unsafe and turning to food for comfort.
The medical death complex is stuck in 3D (keeping fear trapped in our lower 3 chakras), never touching 5D, because it refuses to honor the body as the very stage where spirit plays out how it feels about life in the human experience.
Governments — literally meaning “mind controllers” — create endless complex rules and structures to keep us distracted, tagged, tracked, and kept in line, all under the guise of “caring for us.”
Meanwhile we have CPS and all levels of government and society involved in trafficking children, our veterans are neglected and left as loose cannons in society, violent men pervade communities, and our orphans and single mothers are not given enough to thrive.
Even the American Psychology Association, the very institution that claims to champion mental health, refuses to officially recognize childhood trauma as a legitimate root of PTSD — despite mountains of data.
Why?
Because they’d rather label us as inherently broken, chemically imbalanced, in need of their pharmakia (literal demonic meddling) to keep their pockets lined and us dependent on their “care.”
Sounds like a demonic heroine dealer more than a healer!
What we’re witnessing is how male-dominated systems fueled by unchecked Ego create a world where the most vulnerable are used up, discarded, and then blamed as the problem, all while billionaires hoard resources to feed their Egos.
The fucken irony!
It’s the same mother-fucking-over Ego game everywhere:
Lying to us about who’s more powerful. Tricking us into believing the Ego should lead, that the mind should rule over the body and the soul. When in truth, the Ego was always meant to serve the Soul — the mission of life itself.
The Ego wouldn’t even exist without the Soul first choosing to incarnate.
Part 9: The cure — reuniting with the Feminine
So inevitably, someone’s going to raise the argument:
“But women do bad things too. Women abuse, manipulate, harm. They’re just as bad as the men!”
And here’s the deeper reality:
Yes — women absolutely do perpetuate harm.
But this isn’t about individual blame — it’s about asking: What is the system that is driving this behavior to begin with?
Because if the soil a woman is planted in is poisoned — if her environment is soaked in patriarchy, trauma, suppression of emotion and sensitivity — then the seeds of creation inside her become contaminated by that very poison.
Epigenetics shows is how your environment directly influences how your genetic codes get expressed.
So if we’ve built societies that are hostile to feminine energy, that ridicule intuition, deny God, smash sensitivity, ignore emotional truth — of course it poisons the women inside these systems too.
Often to the point that they become the fiercest upholders of the very structures that damaged them, passing on the same trauma patterns, shaming themselves and their daughters for their very existence as women, reinforcing the suppression of Soul.
This is why the cure is the same for both men and women:
It’s a return to the Source of life — the feminine — for reconciliation.
For women, this means truly understanding your sacred design and structure:
You are the moral code keeper, the life giver.
Your body, mind, feelings, and spirit are literally calibrated to guide creation.
Your high standards aren’t bougie or picky — they are the building blocks of life.
What you allow, what you say yes or no to, sets the stage for future generations.
All those millennia where you had to silence your pain and swallow your rage, now is the time to let it all be spoken. Because when you tell the truth of what hurts, of what is not aligned with what brings life, you shine a light on what needs healing.
For men, this means remembering who your Creator is and living an honorable life.
It’s about returning to the feminine within and without — listening to the divine guidance inside of you, acknowledging the women as the chosen spiritual and community leaders — and giving your life back in gratitude for the life you’ve been given.
This ain’t a sacrifice, this ain’t martyrdom.
It’s living as a living offering in service to life as life continues to serve you with her abundance.
You are not separate from her. What you give her, is what you will get back in return.
If you pour in love and care, you’ll receive more than what you put in. Treat her in a hateful way, you’ll eventually get that back too.
Not because she wrecklessly or whimsically hates you. Her hatred is a protective response to the hatred she’s experienced time and again with your actions, and it’s intended to keep you away until you come correct with your energetic offering.
Part 10: The Mother’s heart of compassion for all her children
We needed such a thorough understanding of what’s happening so that we could develop the level of compassion required for such extensive healing.
Because we’re really dealing with traumatized Souls, cut off from their own Source, manipulated by energies that survive on their pain, and with very little awareness of the situation, let alone the tools to heal themselves.
So when women uphold toxic systems, or men run rogue over life, it’s not because they’re inherently broken — it’s because the soil they were planted in was poisoned.
When the feminine isn’t allowed to lead — when her standards, her sensitivity, her intuitive moral codes are ridiculed or silenced — the entire ecosystem becomes sick.
So the cure, again, is the same for all of us — a return to the Feminine Source for guidance and reconciliation.
When we learn to live like this, we finally understand the ancient teachings:
👉 Love your neighbor as yourself.
👉 Do unto others as you would have done to you.
Because the law of oneness is the law of love, and the law of love is simple:
👉 What would feel like love to you? Now go do that for someone else.
That, beloved, is the heart of the Mother.
The design of feminine energy from the inside out.
The spiritual truths above, expressed below in our earthy bodies.
We have a blueprint of creation written on our bodies, and it’s calling all of us — men and women — back home.
Big reflections & compassionate homecoming
So let’s gather the core revelations you’ve traveled through here:
🌱 Creation has a sacred order: the feminine is Source, the masculine is servant to her purpose.
🌱 This order is visible in every layer — from how feminine and masculine energy relate inside of us, to our body’s geometry showing what function our form serves, to how the female/male brains function, to who is actually leading the collective awakening right now.
🌱 Patriarchal systems are inversions of this truth, leading to collective narcissism.
🌱 A Matriarchy is the natural order of creation.
🌱 Trans ideology & New Age distortions attack the embodied feminine, dismissing the body, womb, cycles, and the masculine’s sacred responsibility to serve life.
🌱 Separating from our physical and spiritual natures creates psychosis — a state of living in the mind that refuses to acknowledge physical, spiritual, and emotional reality. This is a driving factor in the narcissism pervading humanity and its structures.
🌱 Trauma severs sensitivity and soul connection, creating Egos running wild — both in individuals and entire societies.
🌱 The compassion is: we’re dealing with children inside adult bodies, governed by darker forces that thrive on unprocessed pain.
🌱 The cure is coming back to the feminine Source, to the Mother within and around us, so we can heal, restore divine order, and finally become living embodiments of love.
💌 If you found this blog compelling and desire to understand how to learn Body Language for yourself — to personally connect with God and understand the Divine order of creation — check out my offerings and get your bootie into one of my trainings.
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